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HarlequindeRustre

49 Game Reviews

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It cracked me up...

It just did.

I know this is just a randomization program with "beginnings", "middles", and "ends", but it's still funny to see what comes out...

Run For Your Money!

Though rated "E"(even with some cursing and blood), this game has established itself with an older teenaged crowd.

Chocked full of cynicism and commercial innuendo, this game is a straightforward arrow button-mashing extravaganza, the main character vaulting and sprinting and kicking out guards' teeth in this post-apocalyptic parkour flash epic.

It is reasonably basic, where the aim is to hit the arrow keys in sequence with their appearance on screen. Just hit them as soon as they come on screen; you don't have to wait for them to reach some kind of retarded floating bar like those found in some rather lackluster rhythm games *coughrockbandahem*, so be ready to hit them as they appear. One of the only parts of gameplay that snags for beginners is the skateboard grinding part, which consists of a little HUD dial tilting right or left. All you have to do is press the arrow key that sends the dial arrow the opposite way, just so you know.

Now, this game has no real plot, but it DOES have some out-of-the-blue cutscenes that fill you in on what kind of world your character's romping around in. You're basically dealing in a gothic(as in the clique, not the art style) futuristic world that is rife with propaganda and extreme consumerism. The populus is brainwashed, and the corporations have everything at stranglehold. Clone technology is now fully functional, but clones are seen as sub-human, forced into menial tasks, filling the rank in society as "servants", but more aptly described as slaves.

Your character is yet another clone in the herd, charged to run through a decadent city that now serves as a graveyard(and, evidently, a reality sports TV playground). When your character runs, he is filmed, and the higher and more successful his performance, the more viewers latch onto the syndicated channel showcasting him. One problem: if he stop running, a bomb in his body goes off. So he has to keep running until his wins(which is unlikely) or dies(which is highly likely).

You have about three times to mess up before you will fall and explode, and the commentator will crab at you and insult you every time. Of course, you will occasionally gain his favor, but he still talks like a royal flaming a**hole.

This game is easy to learn and fun to play (unless you get depressed or frustrated easily), and the controls are simple(le duh). One word of warning: you have to be perfect; if you mess up a combo by missing an arrow or pressing the wrong one, you will immediately beef. So look at the keys and press them accurately. Don't worry about speed unless it's the guard combo, in which case do your best to hit the correct arrow combination quickly.

The gaming experience is rather cynical, it just is. There are four colors used throughout the game, which are red, white, grey, and black. There is a bit of orange in the commercials, but usually you'll be seeing those. For those exdurance gamers who play one game for five friggin' hours straight, rejoice in not freaking out when you're successful for a long streak(i.e:"Hey!: I'm almost at 200,000 with 25%... Yes! I nailed a nine-arrow combo! Wait-- what is that arrow?! RIGHT! No, LEFT!! S***! It's DOWN! ARRRGH! SO DAMN CLOSE!! RAAAWWWWRR!! >:( "), for there are continual commercial breaks every so often(sometimes only five seconds apart), so you'll have time to lean back and crack your knuckles and enjoy your success before resuming. Personally, I like this feature the best in this game.

So, I give this a nine out of ten, 4.5 out of five...

Now go play it; it's addicting, and is sure to snag your attention.

WTF?!

It's a good game, but I have a problem:

The movement keys keep sticking. For whatever reason, my character suddenly starts moving in the other direction or simply stand still. What the hell is happening?!

The bugs...

... are not fixed. I don't understand what's going on...

The games promising, but you've gotta take care of some coding details, where when I go through a door, I don't end up in the middle of the rainforest about 30 minutes too early...

Pretty good game...

... but how do you open the door? I haven't found any dynamite, and grenades don't seem to work...

Does anyone else feel like punching this chick?

It's an alright game, but the character is annoying. Seriously.

Woah...

You're doing this cool shit while you're still doing Quadratic equations? Awesome!

Grr...

... I need to beat the times, augh...

Er... *ahem*

When a game is of this quality, it loses that bit of critiqabiltity, and takes on the role as a good experience and a future classic. This is one of the few that I have no serious compunctions about giving a ten on. In all honesty, this deserves more than simple public attention, and I hope there is a professional future for this piece of work on the road ahead.

I want to thank the Programmer for his non-defunct keyboard layout that does NOT lock up at weird times, and for his ingenious design and premise.

I'd like to thank the artist for supplying an enjoyable, flexible look to the game, and giving it a classic, defined look. Without this, it wouldn't have been nearly as successful, even with such a good programmer and musician.

On the note of the music artist, I'd like to let him know that his hours of score making and editing payed off and that this is surely what made the game flow as the final product, ensuring a memorable soundtrack and an in-depth playing experience.

So, thank you, all of you, for making this game. I wish you the best of luck with your careers...

Feckin' awesome

... in a droll kinda way, of course. The trolls of v-chat will love you for this...

This...

... is the board game "Mastermind" with twitch reflexes and "Concentration" gameplay. This isn't necessarily creative.

Thanks for trying, tho'...

Sarcastic, poignant, legendarily weird. That is all you need to know.

Age 25, Male

Joined on 3/5/08

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