HarlequindeRustre's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[House of Dead Ninjas]

A guide.

This is an awesome game that exceeds expectations, so I won't waste space explaining the obvious greatness.

The Attacks:

Sword: multipurpose, good for fast attacks at close quarters and breaking through annoying barriers that seperate you from your path and/or nice little goodies.

Shuriken: good for a decent long-ranged attack and preemptive sniping. Remember to touch the fallen stars you throw to get them back in your stock

Bomb: multipurpose, good for taking down otherwise impossible foes and obstacles.

The Enemies:

Niji (Purple) and Deezi (Green): Go down with one hit. Simply walk around and get in the way.

Badoomba (Fatass): Takes two regular hits to go down. Not very fast, but can get in your way alot more.

Kinne(Blue thingy): Takes one hit to die. Spits knives at you every two seconds.

Giz (Lil froggy): Annoying bugger that jumps around every second or so when you get near it. Takes one hit.

Madman (Flashing Purple): Sticks to the surface of walls. Very predictable. Goes only in one direction. Takes one bomb.

Karaka (Yellow): Moves up and down. Takes one hit.

Knives (Light Green): Pops outta the ground when you get in the room. Spits fireball after emerging. Takes one hit.

Eki (White/Red/Flashing Multicolor): Have a variety of movements. White only swings down and has delays between swings, red swings around in a circle, and Fla-Mul bounces around randomly. Takes one bomb.

Wum Wum (Dark Purple): Harmless stuff. Takes one hit.

Gror (Purple): Falls down when just about under it. Takes one bomb.

Nomit (White): Rushes you when you're on the same level. Takes one hit.

Trattip (Grey White): Acts like Deezi, only faster. Takes one hit.

Ripper (Red): Flys up and down diagonally. Takes one hit.

Magicloke (Orange): Stands still and teleports. Flings magic waves at you. Takes one hit.

Schimp (Purplish black): Acts like Deezi, only faster. Takes one hit from behind.

Dainon (Whitish Purple): Acts like Deezi, only slower. Takes one hit in the eye or one bomb.

Bahamut (Red): Flys around. Hit it until it dies.

The Strategies:

On blocks- The colors always change except for two kinds of blocks- the blockade blocks or the weak ones. The blockade blocks are always different in color, though not always. Silver and purple are the most frequently appearing. The weak blocks break nearly the instant you run over them, and are just about always brown.

When falling into a room with a nearby enemy, the downward strike can be an essential lifesaver. Kills everything in one blow except for invulnerable things like Dainon. The downward strike has a fast descent, so be careful when going through a row of gaps. The downward strike is not recommended for dispatching Trattips, for although you'll kill them, they'll take you with them with their spikes.

There are special rooms all over the place. You'll find them as funky-looking rooms, usually with a power-up or golden artifact inside, and has one silver block in its roof. To get into these, either stand over the silver block, press down, and attack with the sword a few times or just stick a bomb on the silver block. The artifacts are usually about 10000 points, so it's worth the effort. Back doors can appear in these rooms, instead, though.

Bombs explode in a one-block radius around them, so remember to keep at least that far away from them when you let `em loose.

Back doors(Green) stop the counter and send you down a few levels. You get no points for using these. Enter them by pressing up.

Warp gates stop the movement of enemies around you, thus giving you the space to move around quickly. Your counter doesn't stop, though, so be fast about it. Exit the warp mode by finding another warp gate and activating it. Enter these by pressing up.

It is best to be ready to fling shuriken whenever you enter a floor, so be vigilant.

Keep your fingers on all the attack buttons- you never know when you'll need a star or a bomb or a quick slice. Same with the directional buttons.

~Hope this helps you guys! : )

[Trollface Launch]

Sweet

Fun game. Srsly.

I don't really care what the queefs say about this game(quite frankly, I enjoy that part of it) and I'm happy to finally see a depiction of the troll with its utter prowess and mystique.

Ass-Sucking aside, we need the other faces in this here joint to make it bettar. Nothing says awesome like forever alone and ffff in tandem.

[Hunters - Relic of Stars]

Eh.

This is a good effort, and it's alot more cohesive than most beginner-type stuff, but this doesn't have the polish or the versitality to be an entertaining game.

The script writing(cinema-wise, not in regards to the scripting of the game) needs some serious work, as it's pretty stiff and the lines are nothing short of preachy and annoying.

With a little work, your work could be something, but not now. It's really too back right now...

[Revolution Shoe: Gaddafi]

Hmm

Fastest 100% evar.

Cool game.

The funny part of it is that Ahmedenejad is actually the hardest- the "Hard" dictator was a fat, nearly-unmoving blob that toppled after I went absolutely nuts with the boot in the fifth round.

The learning curve of this game is actually pretty fast, which is nice, so I don't spend alot of time fretting over strategy or tricks. Like the guys before said- patience is key.

It lacks for substance, but it's a cute arcade-like flash game to burn some extra time on.

All in all, it's pretty fun as a side thing.

vest816 responds:

Thanks!

There's an updated version which is still in the approval process right now that tweaks some of the Triumphs to be, dare I say it, EVEN FASTER to get. Took out the 'Lose the Game' triumph (because the heck kind of a triumph is that) and the 'Fair Fighter' ones because, as we say in the techie circles, they were dumb as hell.

Substance is something we needed to reserve for a future date when the Gaddafi thing was still a hot-button issue.

[20 Seconds to DIE]

Very nice.

The whole studio kicked ass.

The funniest were beard ninja and multiplication, which counts for a lot.

However, the highest quality ones have to be psycho and lightning.

The best use of framerate, in my opinion, has to be exploders and beatdown.

The most epic were yoyo and mining, both of which were pulled-off with great timing and good moves.

That's by look at it. Eight stars for eight movies, because they all made it awesome.

The soundtrack, in my opinion, is a part of all of them, so really isn't up for nomination as a seperate entity. However, it's still damn epic.

[Poltergifts]

What a Slugfest

Poltergifts is everything the title says: possessed toys, possessed toys, and possessed toys. Pretty much every second of game time will consist of getting an eyeful of the raping of your childhood friends(we're still talking about toys).

The game is pleasantly challenging, though in the beginning it's a little annoying and towards the end very, very repetitive. The actual entertainment value depends on if you like this sort of game and how good you are at micramanaging.

For most, the fun parts will be running willy-nilly with the chainsaw/shotgun, finally beating the game, and replaying the whole thing with everything upgraded and just mowing everything down.

For me, the satisfaction is built up from frustration- i.e: blasting the flying spiders into oblivion with a shotgun or going to town on a giftbox monster with the croquet mallet (a word on the mallet: it's like the [pressure] hammer from Unreal Tournament; it's slow, but it does a good job).

My recommended weapons for the Timmy, Mommy, and Daddy rounds are as follows:

Timmy: BB Gun
Mommy: Croquet Mallet
Daddy: Shotgun

The BBG is good for taking down spiders and cars, so make good use of it.
The CM is great for smashing teddy bears, bots, and GBMs.
The Shottie is slow, but it's fantastic for crowd control; figure out its general area of damage, as it's the only weapon that splashes.

This is not to say that the other weapons are crap. No, it's quite the opposite: The Water Gun is good in a pinch, the Boomerang is a lifesaver(Frisbee is a nice imitation, tho'...), and the chainsaw is good for a steady combo/last stand.

When I played this through the first time, it was entertaining, but sheer hell.

The second time, it was genuinely fun. However, even with full upgrades, the final hour was a pain in the arse. In fact, I ended up relying on a wall of fans and widescreen TVs as I desperately pummeled a obscene wall of the bigger enemies with little Timmy's little fists towards the end of 5:30. It was vaguely... darkly... amusing...

Well, that's all I have to say about this game- now go kick some Poltergift arse!

[Undead End Hardcore]

I would have given this a better score...

if the damn controls didn't lock up at very inconvenient points. If the problem's the programming, go back and debug it some more. If it's my keyboard, then I shouldn't play this game on this particular computer...

[Dead Space: Flash]

Dude...

Ya gotta take this back to the drawing board. It's way too static, has no embience, and lacks depth.

You need to redo the mechanics of this from flash. If you're having trouble, ask a veteran for tips. Trust me, don't let pride get in the way...

[Knight`n Golem]

You cheat.

You took the Death Knight voice dubs from Warcraft II!

[Callow Drift]

I like this

I genuinely do.

Even with the cuteness that reminds me of my little sister's drawings, I found it nice, especially with the jazz soundtrack and the secret places. Real nice, really.