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HarlequindeRustre

49 Game Reviews

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Dude

I'm sure there's some amount of math in this game, but for the most part it's utter crap.

Look up the ytwatchdog at some point...

Eh, not much to say...

It's okay. I wish there was more entertainment to the actual game, as the only real amusement I got out of this was the Pulp Fiction reference I got to see when I lost...

Generally, the premise of this game is to put out a message about limey bees and that gravity and a dead bee suck.

I have absolutely no idea what to say to assist you, other than please try to find a way to make the game more interesting in future, alright?

Good game, good framerate, good graphics...

... but the keys stick too goddamn much.

Eck

The lightening guns is increibly inaccurate, the game goes from very easy to incredibly hard in a single level, and the fun factor is extremely hampered by the lack of personality in this. I would have liked it if not for these factors...

A New Reason...

... to hate bugs.

Eurgh, that was a freaky game. Thank goodness it isn't closer up, or I'd be losing what lunch I still have.

Everybody's saying is SO Dead Space, and I've have to agree to an extent.

BUT it is also influenced by the Alien movies, a particular space vampire movie I can't recall the title of, possibly Stargate, and most definitely The Puppet Masters.

For those of you who don't know, The Puppet Masters inspired a rip-off of it, so dubbed Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

The concept of that book were extremely scary, without much actual killing involved, in reality.

This game translates an altered essence of that selfsame book, for if the hero fails, he comes under the influence of "The Yellow Light". It's some screwy shit, to be sure...

Eight outta ten because the controls and physics are a bit basic(and the AI pretty stupid) and the fact that giant evil parasite bugs scare me.

Dude...

... your programming sucks. How long did you beta this? The bugs in this are incredible. Thankfully, all the buttons work, but for the love of- dude: the keys stick almost immediately in this game. Go back to the drawing board and overhaul this game so we aren't button mashing in nerd frustration from this SNAFU job.

My suggestions when beta-ing: get a complete amateur to test for you. That's right: amateur. The less experienced he is, the faster he's going to find the absolute worst bugs in the game. Trust me on this.

Very Nize...

A well paced game that has a good formula and a better theme. Unlike other bar tending games, you don't have to do retarded-ass tricks where you almost always break the bottle or have to do some friggin' stunt to impress some creepy floozy by mashing some buttons... instead, your do your effing job and have to weigh your necessities(size of stock, quality of stock, and how much money you'll pay to beat the shit out of the arse that steals your stock). As such, this game has already earned most of its brownie points. Five points.

The voice acting is charming and simple; nothing dramatic or idiosyncratic is uttered throughout the whole thing. Ever so simply a masterwork of humble brilliance. Voice acting earns 4 points.

Wait, wait! There's MORE!

The design and easy-to-understand controls earn you another 3 points!

But how is that possible? Well here are the downsides!

As aforementioned, the controls are simple; they are also frenetic. The modes change easily, and, if you're jumpy like me, you'll inadvertently click or double click the wrong area. In this game, there's a BIG penalty. My biggest screw-up in this game was somehow enacting a glich that, after the refilling and upgrading stage, had me somehow refilling the already full keg at the beginning of the first round(this was automatic, my storefront keg wasn't empty, and I hadn't started clicking in that round yet). A deduction of 1 point!

!*Another glitch that isn't such a big deal is one where you start off a round facing the wrong way at the counter. Don't worry; when the customer passes you the mug, that glitch will right itself!*!

Then there's the gameplay. The bigger achievements are not the problem in this; unlike what the whiny bastards before me have thought, with proper management of money and supplies, you can get those big, shiny rewards. No, the kicker comes with Doug. Biggest. Pain. Ever. No warning, which is fine, but would it kill somebody to have an "interrupt action" function where we can /actually/ drop everything and go kick that bastard's ass? The answer is no. NO, I SAY!! AN IMMEDIATE AND SOMEWHAT EPIC DEDUCTION OF 2 POINTS!!!

And there yeh are.

My suggestion for the author of this is to make a sequel.

In the sequel, expand the functions to include tapping the kegs, a "rolling the kegs to the front" minigame(Ale kegs are HEAVY! No way McSweeny(secretly a big leprechaun or not) could actually lift a full wooden keg of alcoholic stuff!), a barrel quality upgrade system, a more "Whack-a-Mole" style Doug-Beatdown(No uncontrollable jumping animations, but some dynamic movement coupled with faster attacks), a "Fitness" and "Strength" upgrade system(where McSweeny can get "faster"(Better reaction time and movement) and "stronger"(Easier time rolling and tapping the keg and greater damage to Doug), respectfully), a haggling system(where you can argue prices with the customers or the suppliers, possibly even a minigame...), a "boss fight" with Doug every thrid or fifth round (where he tries to make off with a barrel and you have to chase him down, stop him, and beat him while he fights back. If you lose, you lose a keg, the ale in it, and some gold. If you win, you get back your keg and ale and have a 50% chance for getting fined some amount for "disturbing the peace" and/or "maiming a vagrant"), and possibly a series of move you could use against Doug("The Potatoe Masher", where you dual wield two weapons and have an immediate 5-10 hit attack on Doug, no matter what keg he's in! "Spud Barrage", where you don't have to move to hit Doug with your limitless supply of rotten Russets and Reds! "The Luck of the Ale Server", where you have a 50% chance of not having Doug attack your supply )if he already is in the act, it'll either a) somehow magically boot him out or b) Keep him out the next time)!). Also, you might wanna make the surroundings a bit more canon, with the ale rack in the back and so on. Perhaps even the meeting of Larry every so often.

Well, that's all I have to say on this right now! Reply if you want to!

Brilliant!

... but one problem: how are we going to use this? We already have access to newgrounds music; we can just go to the audio portal.

Please tell me how you'll improve on this...

Archawn responds:

It's to keep everything in one place.

It was alright...

It was generally a beefed up version of The Running Clone with more interactibility and less warning. It had a nice long run and it was nice.

However, the plot was rather... tired... so I kinda slashed the score on that count. However, it's great for those who like a decently paced hybrid of the Siege of Theldale and The Running Clone. Enjoy to your heart's content...

And, to enlighten the cretin just below me, the Amazons were around much longer than the name of the Amazon River in South America. The Amazons were fierce warrior women, relatives of the barbaric Scythians, and proved themselves to be capable warriors against the male dominated ranks of Greece. They are cited alongside Sappho and Isle of Lesbos, and they died out at generally the same time as the Lesbians, so they're all but myth now...

The Amazon river was named after the Amazons for the fact that the river was as fierce and as lifegiving as an Amazon mother. Or so the story goes. *shrug*

Okay...

A: The timing sucks.

B: The "Fail" screens are really fecking insulting on such a juvenile level.

C: You need to work on the coding for the bug squishes, which sometimes unsquish.

D: After you take care of those few things, you should be good...

Jordo867 responds:

Fecking????

Sarcastic, poignant, legendarily weird. That is all you need to know.

Age 25, Male

Joined on 3/5/08

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